Lovely, lovely, lovely!
This is a follow-up to an article I wrote on the 30th of September — International Blasphemy Day. It was an article defending free speech and listed five perfectly reasonable things we’re not allowed to say, censured either through blasphemy laws or cancel culture, or both. I also posted the article on the online publishing platform Medium. With no apparent sense of irony, Medium quickly took it down.
It would have been easy to rail against this censorship, to see it as unreasonable and dangerous for a supposedly diverse, open and neutral platform to silence free speech. However, the intervention made me stop and think. I now see that Medium was correct and wise in its decision. I now see how wrong it can be to say unapproved things. And of course, like any artist or writer, I can’t afford to be derailed by principles or conscience. So by way of an apology, let’s turn over a new leaf, and instead celebrate the liberating wonder of saying things that have been deemed acceptable by someone! That’ll be respectful, inclusive and incredibly kind and lovely, eh! 😃😃😃
Okay, here we go, with five things we can say on Medium!
1. There are gods!
Yes, there is a god! He’s a really great guy and he’s got your back! And the kind of god that’s real is the one you believe in (which means if you think he’s female, non-binary, catgender or whatever, he/she/they/Pussykins IS that! Yay!). Yes, it’s all true! Unless you believe in several gods, in which case … great news! Those are all real too and just as you imagine them, with their preferred pronouns and everything! 😃😃😃
2. Islamophobia is real!
Islam must never be criticised, ever! Any such criticism is always just racism. Islam never does anything bad and is a lovely lovely lovely way to be! Yay! 😃😃😃
3. Men can become women!
Don’t listen to those so-called ‘biologists’ and ‘zoologists’ with their ‘science’ and ‘incredibly well-established body of evidence’. Instead, listen to the intellectual heavyweights of Gender Studies and that bloke in a dress at the library. They have proved beyond any debate (it never is necessary!) that being a woman is nothing other than a lovely beautiful magic rainbow feeling that comes from a person’s innate gendered soul! It really is that simple! And we all agree that this is true! And that means literally anyone who says they are a woman is a woman! Has there ever been anything more inclusive? It’s just so great and lovely, isn’t it! 😃😃😃
4. All cultures are equally valid!
Yes, every single culture is as fine and lovely as any other! And that means we don’t have to worry about cultures that allow nasty naughty things to happen to innocent vulnerable people who say disagreeable things or are silly enough to be born gay or female in the wrong country. Those cultures are just as valid as any other! Yay! 😃😃😃
5. It’s NOT okay to microwave a cup of tea that’s gone cold
We can say this. It’s fine. It’s allowed! Yay! And that’s an appropriate way to end the article. A cold cup of tea.
Or should that be a cold cup of sick?
😃🙂😐😟🤢
Colton.
This article has also been posted here on Medium. Though I'm not sure how long it'll stick around.
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